Monday, January 10, 2011

Monday Must: Say it with Love.

I love a good metaphor. How can you not love a language that so eloquently says one thing when it means another? And since my humor tends to be a little sarcastic…I have an arsenal of metaphors ready to use at a moments notice if I see someone acting…less than intelligent.

The wheel's spinning, but his hamster's dead.
He doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
She's got a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
Her slinky is kinked.
He's as sharp as a bowling ball.
He's all hat, and no cattle.

Of course, these are only meant to be used in the spirit of good humor, not in a mean or nasty context at all…unless the subject is out of earshot.

Happy Monday.


  1. I like the 'When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." =)

  2. You hear things like this here in the south a lot. I've heard some real funny ones in my time! I like this one:

    "I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball."

  3. Bwahahahaha. OH YES.

    "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." Too funny. Also love "Her slinky is kinked."

  4. "Sharp as a bag of marbles" was one from my childhood.

  5. Ha!

    I like:

    He fell through the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    The tap is on, but the water's frozen.

    They say fish is brain food - too bad he's allergic.

    He tried to write a check, but the bank said the paper was worth more without his name on it.


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.