Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Teasing Telemarketers

Since the majority of the population have tossed their landlines and gone pure cellular, the telemarketing calls are less but sometimes they still manage to find you. Ever comparison shopped online for new cars or insurance? It’s just one of the ways your cell number is passed around.

If you’re like me and carefully guard your number, you don’t screen calls before picking up. Then you’re stuck listening to someone try to hard sell you on a product you’ve never heard of. Here are a few ways to deal with them and leave a lasting impression.

This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ company" You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

Cry out in surprise, "Judy, IS that you? Oh my God, Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

If MCI or AT&T calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply in as sinister a voice as you can. "I don't have any friends. Would you be my friend?"

Tell the telemarketer you are "grounded" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.

It might not stop them from calling but hey…at least you can enjoy it when they do.


  1. I gotta stop ignoring my unknown calls.

  2. Ask them if they are Saved, and, if they'd just be willing to give you their address, why, you have some wonderful literature that will change their life.

  3. I like to pretend I don't speak English. I say "Wow, thank you!" in a really thick accent when I should be answering yes or no. I've actually had a telemarketer get frustrated and hang up on ME.

  4. :) poor telemarketers. Sometimes I actually feel bad for them. :D


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.