Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Title Fail

Some of us struggle with titles more than others. I am a fan of the brief, to the point title. I don’t want to guess why you named it. It should be obvious. But today I want to give a shout out to those who are notorious for horrible titles…Country Singers (or whoever writes their songs).

These are actual song titles. I kid you not.

Get Off the Table, Mabel (the $2 is for the Beer)
I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back in my Bed While I Cry Over You
It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears
Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
They May Put Me In Prison But They Can't Stop My Face From Breaking Out

And my personal favorite:

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.

So if you’re feeling down because you can’t seem to think of the perfect title for your ms…feel better. Because there’s no way you could be this bad.


  1. ahaha these are fantastic! There are definitely some emo bands out there with great song titles, too. For instance, Panic! at the Disco's "There's a reason these tables are numbered, honey, you just haven't thought of it yet" and Fall Out Boy's "I slept with someone in Fall Out Boy and all I got was this stupid song written about me."

  2. Number three has a ring of truth to it. ;) Too funny!!!

  3. Yeah, titles aren't my forte. I've been shopping around for a better one for my novel, but haven't quite come up with a winner yet.

    Country songs have the best/worst titles. Love that first one.

    I don't know what song this is from, but my husband is always singing this line: "I've got the guns so I'll keep the pesos." I think he's trying to tell me something.

  4. Dude! If those were book titles I would by them JUST so I have them on my shelf, somewhere prominent for everyone to see! The crying ones are my favs.

  5. Ahahahaha! So perfect.

    My fave: If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?

    I'd like to know the answer to this. Really. Why aren't you?

  6. Well, that's why they do it. They know it'll get people talking. I hate that kind of country music. I just like the straightforward stuff.

  7. I laughed so hard at these! Although 'Tequila makes her clothes come off' is actually a pretty cute country song, though the title is a little... weird. :)


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.