Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Inappropriate gifts from relatives to my 3yr old:
1) Your old phone with the rock band app. might have seemed like a good gift at the time but now I’d like to smack you around to the backbeat drumming through my head.
2) Your extra reading glasses. WTH? Yeah, he looks nerdy and cute but you’re not going to be the one taking him to an ophthalmologist with eye strain.
3) Clothes that are 5 sizes too big. Maybe you should keep those glasses. How large do you think my kid is?
If I didn’t perform some sort of quality control his room would look like a toddler version of Sanford and Son.
4) Teens that break shower heads late at night and hide it instead of warning you before it’s your turn to take a shower.
5) Teens that use your kitchen to do ‘the cinnamon challenge’ and then gag over your dishes in the sink. Warning: There may be a video floating around of this with my hand smacking the back of my teenager’s head. I will not apologize. It was deserved...and I had to pause Vampire Diaries.
6) Buying a package of socks at Wal-Mart and noticing later there is a hole in bag and a pair is missing. Damn you freaky Wal-Mart peeps! I shouldn’t even be surprised.
7) Peeps who don’t notice when the stoplight turns green at an intersection. 2 minutes is not enough time to balance your checkbook!
8) My day job office is located on a side street off a major road. I must cross several lanes of traffic to make the turn. There is no light, there is no turn lane. Watching cars barreling toward me in my rear view mirror is like a game of Russian roulette. Maybe they’ll see me…maybe they won’t. It does give my caffeine breakfast a kick in the ass though.
Whew…I feel better. How about you? Sound off in the comments.
Update: Cinnamon challenge is a dare game where you must eat a tablespoon without vomiting. IMPOSSIBLE. Been around for at least 10 yrs. Don't you peeps watch Tosh.O????