Monday, November 1, 2010

Monday Must: Post Halloween Observations

1) Two-year olds do not understand the term 'quality control'...they only know you are eating their candy.

2) Candy is like crack to a two-year old.  A mild mannered child can turn into a kicking, screaming lunatic over a tootsie roll pop.

3) If you run out of candy, do not give trick-or-treaters dusty candle knicknacks off bookshelf.  They will not be happy.

4) If you were bored and TP'd your own house you should have made sure...a) those you planned to accuse had no alibi (such as out of town, broken leg, etc..) b) your own child did not see you and mention to your husband that it might be time to get mom some help.

5) The vaguely nauseas feeling you have the next morning is trying to tell you a snickers mini might not be a good breakfast choice.  Why don't you listen???

6) Suffering from candy hangover, if asked how you're doing, do not reply "just tryin' to swim in the s***pool of my life."  Be aware that some people do not get your humor...namely your boss.

7) Chocolism is not an actual illness and cannot be used as an excuse if while entering invoices at day job, you type 'So and So Makes a Porno' in the memo field of each one. (actual names withheld)

That is all.  Happy Monday.


  1. Funny as usual! Does your YA read this way? i bet it rocks! And yeah, I'm totally sick from all the sugar I abused myself with yesterday/this morning. I'm glad to know I'm not alone!!

  2. Again, just the laugh I needed as I attempt to wake myself up from a post-Halloween coma. No, I should not have had that Three Musketeers bar for breakfast.

    I love your sense of humor!

  3. We ran out of candy one Halloween...all we had was a box of Girl Scout popcorn. (Girl Scout popcorn is awful, by the way.) So we started giving that out! Kids were saying, "Popcorn. COOL!"

  4. LOL. Twix or Kitkats won't help a candy hangover either. :( Too bad.

  5. I wonder if your boss goes home and shares, " Well, you wouldn't believe what Marsha did today!" lol.


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.