Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tuesday’s Take: Bad Analogies

Analogies are not as easy as you might think. Some people just cannot grasp the fine art of comparisons. And some grasp it and take it to a whole new level. Here are a few hilarious examples of analogies that while true, would not have been my first choice.

I saw her sitting at the bar. I approached. "Hello," she said in a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled.

As Fiona slowly drew the heavy velvet curtain aside, her eyes smoldered black, deep, and dark as the inside of the lungs of a coal miner.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

The moon looked like a discarded toenail clipping submersed in a puddle of saliva on a black formica countertop.

And my favorite: Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it.

Quotes courtesy of funny2.com

Analogies are like shoes. You need two and even though they might look ridiculous…they should at least fit.


  1. LOL! I love the Jeopardy one!

  2. LOLOL!!!These are great! The dogsled voice:D

    And may I say, I love your new Bloggett design. And the colors! They're some of my favorites, nice and warm and rich. Like us, right?;)

  3. Excellent! I love the fertilizer one. And the shoe one. Genius.

  4. Anything that involves a dogsled is fine by me!

  5. Thanks for the chuckle. The nose hair and toe nail clippings were hilarious and gross. :)

  6. Yeah. The thing about analogies, is to try and keep the feel of what you're trying to convey.

    These are hee-lar


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.