Friday, December 10, 2010

Friday Flashback: Regrets

Flashbacks give us a chance to revisit the past and examine our actions (and hairstyles, WTF?). When we are writing a story, we can invent the sort of past we want for our characters. It can be exciting, horrific, or just plain boring depending on how we want that character perceived by the reader.

If only we could do this with our own lives. Do you look back at your past and have any regrets? Wish that you could have done anything differently? Or would you do everything exactly the same?

Do you wonder if you made different choices, even small ones, would your life would be better? Worse? Would you be the same person? If you hadn’t kissed Tommy Dixon, maybe you would be rich and famous today.

I jokingly said the other day that I should have married for money. I don’t believe it, of course. I like who I am and it took all the mistakes, bad choices and good ones, to arrive at that feeling. Money does not make you happy, although I heard a comedian say that it can buy you a Wave Runner and no one can be unhappy on a Wave Runner. So maybe money can rent happiness for a while but it can’t buy a permanent fix.

Sometimes I regret not returning to writing sooner. Maybe I would have been happier sooner or further along in my career. Or maybe I would have just worked at it longer. I’m not saying that I couldn’t have been a better person at times, a better parent, and a better friend. But our past is what makes us who we are and it’s better to accept and move forward, than regret and dwell on what could have been.

Do you have any regrets?  Let it out and then file them here: 

Have a great weekend!!


  1. I wish I had told the boy I had a crush on from grades 5 through 8 that I liked him. Seriously. Because I think he might have liked me back, but he was so shy and so was I! I always wondered what would have happened if I had.

    I also wish I'd gotten serious about writing much earlier. But then I think back to the "headspace" I was in a few years ago and no way could I have written at any publishable level back then. And maybe I'd have gotten totally discouraged and cynical and given up.

    A friend told me the other day, "You're exactly where you need to be." Even though it might not make sense now, there are life lessons in everything. So I'm really trying to be PRESENT.

  2. Choice is one of those things that's so hard to analyze. Because you DON'T KNOW what would or wouldn't have happened. You only know what did because of what you chose. So I try to make each choice deliberately, so that I know that I'm doing what I want to be doing.

  3. Sadly, I too regret my 80's hair. I would have killed to have that ladies hair. Mine sort of fluffed up on the sides and no amount of aqua net could keep it afloat. Oh and by the way, I wont hesitate marrying for money in my next life. ;)

  4. Sometimes I feel regret and stop myself because everything is a learning experience and life can't be perfect.

  5. Theoretically, I avoid regret like the plague.

    If it isn't something you can change, why bother.

    If you can change it, do.
    But when regret gets me, it gets me good. Like how I regretted dropping Spanish for 8 YEARS until I picked it back up at university.

  6. Not being a mom is a regret of mine...but I think everything happens for a reason, so there are other things meant for me to do.

  7. Hello Marsha interesting blog I will visit on a regular basis. Merry Christmas to you and the family.


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.