Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Real World

As writers we spend a lot of time with characters of our own making. But I have to say that without input from the real world and my day job…ideas would not flow as easily to populate those fictional worlds in my head.

In this economy, the competition for jobs is fierce and any advertisement for an open position is bound to bring out the crazies. I have done a post on this subject before but I bring you new and true interview stories. My sources will remain anonymous.

An applicant said she was a "people person", not a "numbers person", in her interview for an accounting position.
Note: I swear this wasn’t me. The only thing I said was I hated math.

Prospect said, "Seven handicapped parking spaces next to the front door? What, are you having a wheelchair convention or something?"

One applicant sang all the responses to the interview questions.

Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

Candidate dozed off during interview.

Strange things said during interview process:

"Sometimes I feel like smashing things."
"My legs are really hairy."
"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
"If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."
"I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me."
"I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movements."
"At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking."

Whoever said truth was stranger than fiction wasn’t lying.


  1. Awesome post, Marsha.

    "I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movements."

    But can the candidate do these two things simultaneously?

    Lord, I love people who have no filters. They make me feel downright normal.

  2. How do hairy legs and bowel habits even come up in conversation? WTF?

    I feel much saner after this post. I really do.

    And, by the way, I sang the words to this comment while resisting the urge to SMASH THINGS!!!. Okay, back to my closet.

  3. Oh to be a fly on the wall during these interviews!

    I was at the Olive Garden the other week and the manager was conducting an interview at the table right beside us.

    Manager: I see you have a degree in Finance. Why do you want to work at the Olive Garden?

    Candidate: It's close by, and I really need a job. I've been out of work for over a year.

    Manager: I guess my concern is that you might leave if something in your field opens up.

    Candidate: I hope that happens! I wish for it every day! But don't worry, if that happened I'd definitely give you two weeks notice.

    Manager: Um, okay. So what's your favorite dish here?

    Candidate: Don't have one. I've never eaten here before.

  4. Ah, the real world. What would we do without it? :)

  5. I know this is shocking but it's always funny! How can anyone fall asleep in the interview? Talk about career suicide!


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.