Monday, August 22, 2011

Without Words

Body language is fascinating especially to those of us who rely so much on words to express ourselves. What are we saying without the words? What are we revealing about ourselves? And how can we incorporate it into our current wip? Because that question always lurks in our minds.

But what is even more fascinating is the body language we exhibit when we sleep. Our defenses are down and we are exposed (let’s hope not literally). Here are the results of a study conducted on body language while we are sleeping and what it tells us about our personality.

• Fetus position - These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.
• Log position - If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible.
• Yearner position - The side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body. Noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.
• Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. Said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard.
• Freefall position - Those people lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.
• Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention.

I’m a total free faller when I get the bed to myself.  But when I have to share it with my husband it’s a whole different language going on.  The positions we sleep in as couples tell us about ourselves too, at least according to expert Patti Wood.

The Spoon: If the spooning is comfortable, with no tension in the limbs and seems balanced, it shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship. This Spoon position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners.

Honeymoon Hug: This occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to face each other, seemingly gaze into each others’ eyes, even in sleep. Honeymoon huggers face each other and touch all or some of the front of their bodies. That means they may touch each other with their feet, their legs, their knees, torso and chests. (I’m slightly creeped out by this)

Shingles: aka The Royal Hug- In this position it is typically the man lying on his back facing up. The woman head is cradled in the man chest or shoulder. Symbolically the person on his back in sleep is facing life. A face up position indicates confidence and self-assurance. If the man’s arms are wrapped around the woman, it shows a wonderful protectiveness. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or his elbows are out to the side like a royal cape, he is showing his confidence and that he wants to be in charge, the king of the castle. (Oh, it all makes sense now.)

Zen Style: This occurs when couples are on their sides, faced away from each other so only their rear ends touch. The facing away shows trust and the ability and desire to be independent but the gushier touch shows that they want to stay sexually connected. They are already a confident couple, they just need space.

The Leg Hug: This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position may be assumed after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, it’s a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but since they’re angry they don’t go to the old position. Instead they signal “I will still love you in the morning” by touching the feet or legs.

The Cliffhanger: This position is when both partners are on opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. Know that Cliff hanging shows independence. It says, “I want adventure.” If your partner suddenly goes from close sleep to a cliffhanger, you might want to talk about it. If your position changes from a hug-like sleep to the cliff hanger it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate, or a desire to buy a king size bed.

I have to say we've been in most of those positions except that creepy honeymoon don't want to wake up to morning breath in that position. Let's keep it real.

Sleep confessions anyone??? 


  1. I think I sleep in every position accept "the log," which looks so uncomfortable I think I'd rather just be hung by my toes and be done with it.

    As far as the couples positions, we live in Florida, so it's generally too hot for sleep cuddling. However, on weekend "sleep-in" days, we tend to cycle through must of the cuddly positions in the morning (yes, even the honeymoon hug). Not too bad considering the fact that we've been married for years :)

  2. I think I'm a fetal yearner: an open minded sensitive cynic.

    I'd like to believe what you've written here, but I have my doubts. Sorry. :PP

  3. I'm about half log/half yearner, and we are total cliff hangers. I am so not a cuddly sleeper. Better yet, just don't touch me. Better yet, don't even move so I can pretend I'm alone in the bed.

    This is a private blog, right?

  4. Spoon, Sweetheart's cradle, and, yes, The Honeymoon hug sometimes... though for the most part, I wake up in the honeymoon hug with my forehead closer to his neck, and his chin on my head (height difference).

    We're clingy. We know it.


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.