She is extremely supportive of everything I do and I’m quite sure if I phoned her today to tell her I invented time travel or a cure of cancer, she would not be surprised. Because in her mind, I can do anything.
But when it comes to writing, if I let it…her love would cripple me.
I have to block out her abhorrence for foul language or the credo of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ that she raised me to believe in. If I don’t blindfold her watchful eye over my shoulder or strangle her sweet voice in my head, then the most my characters would ever do is hold hands and sip tea as they pondered the beauty of the world and isn’t everything just NICE?
No, it’s not. I want my characters to scream curses as they run with sharp objects that oh yes could definitely put someone’s eye out and kiss with their TONGUES, and betray friends and tell horrible lies and maybe the ultimate bad of all…not ever listen to their mothers.
You can’t write like your momma is watching. Or your father or the pastor of your church or that old dude who smokes hand rolled cigarettes and stares at you while you pump gas every week at the corner store.
You have to write for YOU. You have to let go of the fear and allow your own voice to speak. If you don’t then your work will show it, it will be stifled and stiff, and your characters just stick figures that never come to life.
Maybe killing your darlings isn’t just about the delete button on your keyboard…maybe it’s about those disapproving voices in your head too.
This post is part of the awesomeness that is Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group. Hit the link in the sidebar and join our neuroticness (is this a word?)
"You can't write like your momma is watching." Best advice ever. Better yet, pretend like nobody's watching, and then let loose - it's the only way to truly be free.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
This is a great post, Marsha. It's so true that if we 'write like momma's watching' we'll get a cleaner, happier, definitely more polite version of society that doesn't really ring true. Wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It's so true. I've had to really work on getting those voices of judgement out of my head when I write. The last novel I wrote I decided I would write whatever the hell I wanted. I didn't have to show it to anyone if I didn't want to. And it did help. I wrote the novel I wanted to write, and even if no one else gets it, it's something I'm proud to have written.
ReplyDeleteThis is the best post ever! I just talked to my agent last night about my new book, and how it's different from what I've done before because it's not *exactly* the kind of book I would like to read.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've always written books I'd like to read. So yeah. I hear ya on this.
I sometimes find myself writing something and then think, oh maybe I shouldn't say that. You are right. We have to write for us. I write because it makes me happy and it's a release for me. Keep writing for you!
ReplyDeleteWhen I told my mother I was writing a book, her response was, "Yeah, you and a million other people." She had read an early draft and saw I "had promise." My goal was for her to walk into B&N and see my book on the shelf. Now that she's no longer with us, my goal is, well pretty much the same thing!
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. Write for yourself! Thanks.
You have to write for you, especially in the beginning. If I'd listened to all those who claimed science fiction was dead, I wouldn't have written my first book. Glad I did now.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. I'm not sure I have reached this point, but I am certainly in hot pursuit...damn it!
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS WONDERFUL! So wonderful. And so TRUE and BRAVE to write about, seriously. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
ReplyDeleteAND your voice is gorgeous and strong. Wonderful, so wonderful, thank you for writing.
Great post, Marsha! My Mum has read some of my stuff before and I suspect she thinks I have serious psychological issues, because there is a lot of violence and bad language in my writing.
ReplyDeleteShe knows I've had a bad published under a pseudonym, and she knows she's never going to read it. I told her it was a romance, but she probably realises it's actually erotica. A romance where the characters were having relations would be bad enough. If Mum found out there was hardware involved, and sometimes a third party, she'd never be able to look me in the eye again.
A **book** published, not a bad! See that Freudian slip, everyone? I start thinking about my Mum reading my book and my brain shuts down!
ReplyDeleteI have sort of that problem with my fiance. She finds nothing I write funny or humorous. She finds things I do in life to be funny but for some reason she does not find my blog posts to be comical. I try not to let her judgment cloud my creativity. You definitely need to write for YOU and not anyone else.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through the blog hop. I hope to join soon.
I read a quote a few years ago, something like 'write what you wouldn't want your mother to read'. That was quite helpful.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest fear I had to conquer was that my students would read my writing, because it would show them sides of me that don't necessarily fit in a lecture hall.
Oh so true! You're going to have family and friends who want you to write this or write that, but at the end of the day it has to work for you as you're the one writing it. I have taken on some of the things people have wanted to see in my writing, but only in increments. Great post, M!
ReplyDeleteWriters aren't insecure. Wait. Are we? Oh my God, maybe I'm insecure. Maybe I'm insecure and I don't even know it what am I going to do how am I going to handle it what happens if I can't tell if I'm insecure or not? Am I insecure? Can you tell? Why aren't you telling me? What are you telling me by not telling me? Why are you looking at me like that? You think I'm insecure, right? Oh shit.
ReplyDeleteLoved this! So true, too.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great point! So important not to write with the questions 'what will people think?' in the back of your mind. OR to write FOR a market. Just write. Let the characters be trutful to themselves and to the story. Really nice to 'meet' you and discover your blog! New follower here:)
ReplyDeleteHa, yes! When I first started writing I was forever worrying about what my parents or friends would think.
ReplyDelete