Friday, February 17, 2012

More Very Short Letters

Dear Facebook addicts,
If Facebook shuts down, are you going to be roaming the streets shoving pictures in people's faces saying "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"
Sincerely, just asking.

Dear girls who dress like hookers,
What if I walked around dressed like a police officer and someone came up to me needing help? I'd have to say, "Oh, I'm not a police officer, I just dress like one."
Sincerely, It doesn't work that way

Dear next door neighbor,
If you won't stop your 3am parties, at least invite me to them!
Sincerely, trying to get to sleep.

Dear World,
Please stop arguing over whether or not it hurts more to give birth or pass a kidney stone. We have a clear winner.
Sincerely, just stepped on a lego.

Dear family and friends,
I will seriously leave all my money to anyone who will go to my funeral dressed as the grim reaper and just stand there.
Sincerely, I'm serious.

Dear teenage son,
No, I don't know if a prostitute getting pregnant is considered a work-related accident.
Sincerely, don’t you have homework to do?

Dear Apple and Blackberry,
Have you ever considered teaming up to make the ultimate device?
Sincerely, it could be called Pie.

Dear Mom,
Please understand LOL doesn't mean Lots of Love.
Sincerely, our dog just died, LOL.


  1. Hilarious! Very clever. I'm always up for a laugh.

  2. Funny and very succinct. I liked #1 and the Blackberry one too.

  3. Ha! I loved that, especially the grim reaper one. :D

  4. I can't even pick a favorite, they're all so funny. Sending LOL your way today for making me LOL. :))

  5. Count me in - there's a scythe in the garage, and I can pick up a black cloak along the way.

  6. My mom didn't know what LOL meant for the longest time! I couldn't bring myself to tell her for years because, well, she was using it in EVERY email she sent out...

    Yeah, I'm probably going to hell for that.

    Love love love these letters. :)

  7. The lego one almost made me shoot coffee out my nose. ROFL

  8. Ha! These short letters are awesome. :)

    I would probably check out that Pie.

  9. The police officer one is great. "I'm not a police officer, I just wear the uniform." Well, same goes for whores. You may not be a whore, madam, but you are most definitely wearing the uniform.

  10. I so needed this! Thanks for the laughs. :)


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.