Friday, May 25, 2012

More Short Letters

Dear Cupcakes,
Please, you just have makeup on...
Sincerely, Muffins. 

Dear Siri in iPhone 4S,
I asked, "where can I hide a body?" as a joke....
Sincerely, ...."What are you looking for? Dumps, marshes, cremation services...?"

Dear teen drivers,
Remember, kids in the back seat cause accidents...
Sincerely, but accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Dear world,
Grammar is the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse.
Sincerely, you're welcome.

Dear children,
Please stop reading so much Harry Potter. It has apparently lead you to believe that we have a house elf that goes around taking out the trash, washing the dishes, paying the bills, and unloading the dishwasher.

Sincerely, I should just start wearing a pillowcase.

Dear girl who walked directly into a mirror than apologized for bumping into the reflection.  That was the greatest thing I have ever seen. Thanks for making my day.

Sincerely, wanna be friends?


  1. Have I ever told you how much I like the way your brain works? OMG, grammar counts...

    Ha! Have a great weekend. Hope you get some writing in. Or maybe you could sneak in some time to wash that pillow case of yours in between dishes and laundry, you know, since it's a holiday weekend and all. :)

  2. Oh, Uncle Jack and his weird hobbies!

  3. I agree with muffins! Plus, muffins are bigger and have chocolate chips in them!

  4. Uncle Jack. lol

    I was at the mall last week inside of a Krispy Kreme getting mu sugar buzz on.

    As I was getting my fix and striding towards the door, I occasioned upon a glass pane instead.

    Not to miss a cue, I bumped into a chair but bravely kept on eating my KitKat donut.

  5. I so love these! You have an Uncle Jack, too? He's not allowed to come over to our house anymore...


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.