Please, you just have makeup on...
Dear Siri in iPhone 4S,
I asked, "where can I hide a body?" as a joke....
Sincerely, ...."What are you looking for? Dumps, marshes, cremation services...?"
Dear teen drivers,
Remember, kids in the back seat cause accidents...
Sincerely, but accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Grammar is the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your Uncle Jack off a horse.
Sincerely, you're welcome.
Please stop reading so much Harry Potter. It has apparently lead you to believe that we have a house elf that goes around taking out the trash, washing the dishes, paying the bills, and unloading the dishwasher.
Sincerely, I should just start wearing a pillowcase.
Dear girl who walked directly into a mirror than apologized for bumping into the reflection. That was the greatest thing I have ever seen. Thanks for making my day.
Sincerely, wanna be friends?