2/1/2010 Repost Due to Vacation!!! (The Toilet Tattler still lives)
It can be difficult at times finding quality reading material in the bathroom. Especially at work...when you're just hiding out in there anyway. Maybe you have someone at your place of employment that feels the need to post annoying signs in the bathroom.
Please don't sprinkle when you tinkle.
Wipe your seat, wash your hands, and wear a smile. (I totally made that up.)
Maybe if you're an aspiring writer...and really bored...you decide it might be a good idea to start a newspaper. A hot sheet, if you will...specifically for the bathroom. Anonymously, of course.
Maybe you decide to name it 'The Toilet Tattler'.
You might include hygiene tips, random office news, and rumors floating about the office.
Maybe you even invent rumors because your office is so boring.
Maybe you post it in every bathroom stall and giggle helplessly all day as you watch people come and go with goofy smiles on their faces.
Maybe Mondays aren't so bad after all.
Showing posts with label Mondays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mondays. Show all posts
Monday, July 23, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Five Things You Never Want to Happen (or hear).
1) You ask your 3yr old how his day went and he tells you he found a booger on his shoe…and ate it.
2) Having your three year old walk in on you bent over, naked, and hearing his shocked “ewww.”
3) A virus attacks your work computer and sends anonymous naked ass pics to your boss with a message that says you are lonely and looking for company…all from your email address. You think seriously about claiming those ass pics are yours after the ‘ewww’ remark from 3yr old.
4) Said virus also attacks your contacts and manages to get into son’s email (of course) and sends you a message that says he is a spiteful horny girl…
5) Zombie Apocalypse.
4 out of the 5 listed happened to me last week. Can you guess which ones?
Hello, Monday.
Labels:
misc. humor,
Mondays
Monday, April 16, 2012
Lies We Tell
I see how it might be damaging to create fantasies for our children only to have them to find out later it was all lies. The people they trust the most, their parents, betraying them for years. But I think they come to terms quickly with the idea that we do it to protect their innocence, grow their imagination, and perhaps foster a belief in things we cannot always see. Or I hope they do because I am so not paying for therapy.
If you decide to always tell the truth to your child then where do you draw the line? At Santa Clause? The Easter Bunny? Or do you take it further? Maybe you should tell them the odds they will become an astronaut or President of the United States are very slim. It’s more likely they will grow up to work long hours for barely above minimum wages at a job they hate for a total asshat of a boss.
But you don’t want to kill all their hopes and dreams, do you? Neither do I, because sometimes those dreams are the only thing that keeps us from plotting the demise of our own bosses.
So I will continue to lie, not just because I’m so good at it…but because I believe it’s the right thing to do.
And my favorite quote on the subject:
“Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”
― G.K. Chesterton
What's your opinion?
Labels:
Mondays,
Things I love
Monday, March 5, 2012
You're It.
I’ve been tagged. It was only a matter of time, really. Flaunting yourself across the internet is only going to draw attention to your blog. Yea!! Jen from the awesomeness of Jen’s Bookshelf is the culprit. Now I must answer her extremely difficult questions and tag it forward.
1. What is the one book you couldn’t live without?
My daily planner.
2. What can you see out your window at the moment?
My backyard, with a Fisher Price playhouse sitting in the middle of it.
3. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Chili and coleslaw. It still sounds good.
4. What fictional character would you most like to marry?
None. But I’d have a fling with Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries.
5. If ever a fictional villain was going to win, who would you want it to be?
My favorite all time villain is Hannibal Lector. Pretty sure he did win.
6. How many types of cheese can you name off the top of your head?
American, Swiss, and Pepper Jack. I recognize no others.
7. If you didn’t want to be a writer, what would you want to be?
I keep searching my brain but there is nothing but an empty space where that answer should be.
8. Can you play a musical instrument?
Yes, several. Not very well but still…that wasn’t the question was it?
9. Do you own a Kindle or a Nook or any sort of e-reader?
No.
10. If you do, how many books do you have on it?
No.
11. You just got published. In a glowing review, someone calls you “the next [insert famous author name here]”. Which famous author has to watch their back now you’re on the scene?
All of them.
And I'm going to do you all a solid by not tagging anyone, unless you just want to pick this up and run with it, then by all means…
But you have to answer at least a few of these questions in the comments. Do you have another dream besides being a writer? Can you name just one book you couldn’t live without? And could you possibly have another answer besides Damon Salvatore for #4?
1. What is the one book you couldn’t live without?
My daily planner.
2. What can you see out your window at the moment?
My backyard, with a Fisher Price playhouse sitting in the middle of it.
3. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Chili and coleslaw. It still sounds good.
4. What fictional character would you most like to marry?
None. But I’d have a fling with Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries.
5. If ever a fictional villain was going to win, who would you want it to be?
My favorite all time villain is Hannibal Lector. Pretty sure he did win.
6. How many types of cheese can you name off the top of your head?
American, Swiss, and Pepper Jack. I recognize no others.
7. If you didn’t want to be a writer, what would you want to be?
I keep searching my brain but there is nothing but an empty space where that answer should be.
8. Can you play a musical instrument?
Yes, several. Not very well but still…that wasn’t the question was it?
9. Do you own a Kindle or a Nook or any sort of e-reader?
No.
10. If you do, how many books do you have on it?
No.
11. You just got published. In a glowing review, someone calls you “the next [insert famous author name here]”. Which famous author has to watch their back now you’re on the scene?
All of them.
And I'm going to do you all a solid by not tagging anyone, unless you just want to pick this up and run with it, then by all means…
But you have to answer at least a few of these questions in the comments. Do you have another dream besides being a writer? Can you name just one book you couldn’t live without? And could you possibly have another answer besides Damon Salvatore for #4?
Labels:
Mondays
Monday, February 27, 2012
Titles-Titles-Titles
These are just some of the titles to story ideas I've seriously considered writing:
Poop in Your Hair and Pee on Your Shoes: Potty Training Nightmares.
We Ain't The Brady Bunch: Tales of a Frustrated Step-Parent.
Did you get my text, God? It's Me, Marsha.
Still Married: How to reassure your spouse after being caught licking a picture of Ian Somerhalder on your computer screen.
Oral Fixations: Why licking your computer screen is not sanitary.
Am I a Cougar? (Dealing with self loathing after realizing you were harmlessly flirting with someone 17 years younger).
Writing For Sanity. (no subtitle needed)
The Hidden Rage of Suburban Housewives: Why you should never delete taped episodes of Vampire Diaries to record college basketball. Bonus insert-Top ten best places to hide until the screaming stops.
Is My Ass Fat?-Knowing When to Lie. (Sequel to 'Still Married')
Teen Wars: Why leaving pamphlets for private christian schools lying around is a must.
Hold My Banjo-A tourist guide through the deep south.
What is the craziest subject you could write about?
Poop in Your Hair and Pee on Your Shoes: Potty Training Nightmares.
We Ain't The Brady Bunch: Tales of a Frustrated Step-Parent.
Did you get my text, God? It's Me, Marsha.
Still Married: How to reassure your spouse after being caught licking a picture of Ian Somerhalder on your computer screen.
Oral Fixations: Why licking your computer screen is not sanitary.
Am I a Cougar? (Dealing with self loathing after realizing you were harmlessly flirting with someone 17 years younger).
Writing For Sanity. (no subtitle needed)
The Hidden Rage of Suburban Housewives: Why you should never delete taped episodes of Vampire Diaries to record college basketball. Bonus insert-Top ten best places to hide until the screaming stops.
Is My Ass Fat?-Knowing When to Lie. (Sequel to 'Still Married')
Teen Wars: Why leaving pamphlets for private christian schools lying around is a must.
Hold My Banjo-A tourist guide through the deep south.
What is the craziest subject you could write about?
Labels:
misc. humor,
Mondays
Monday, January 23, 2012
Mystic Falls Rant
Last week as I was watching the latest episode of Vampire Diaries (in my sweats trying to convince myself no one has ever died from a cold), I noticed something odd.
There is not one single ugly or overweight person on the show. Not even a token plain BFF by which to measure the beauty of all others. Even the parents are gorgeous. Ok, except for this guy:
And I’m not sure he counts because he technically does not live in Mystic Falls. He just visits to cause trouble.
I can buy the idea of vampires, werewolves, hybrids, witches, and ghosts. But no ugly people? And no one eating one too many cheeseburgers? Come on.
Also why is it than when someone does escape from this town and disappears for years…they end up only a short drive away? Is there some interstate time warp that’s not being mentioned?
I’m just asking. And I sort of blame these questions on the frame of mind I was in at the time. Hopped up on cold meds isn’t a happy place. But now I am back to my old self! This may or may not be a good thing.
And of course, this rant in no way diminishes my love for all things VD.
Happy Monday!
There is not one single ugly or overweight person on the show. Not even a token plain BFF by which to measure the beauty of all others. Even the parents are gorgeous. Ok, except for this guy:
And I’m not sure he counts because he technically does not live in Mystic Falls. He just visits to cause trouble.
I can buy the idea of vampires, werewolves, hybrids, witches, and ghosts. But no ugly people? And no one eating one too many cheeseburgers? Come on.
Also why is it than when someone does escape from this town and disappears for years…they end up only a short drive away? Is there some interstate time warp that’s not being mentioned?
I’m just asking. And I sort of blame these questions on the frame of mind I was in at the time. Hopped up on cold meds isn’t a happy place. But now I am back to my old self! This may or may not be a good thing.
And of course, this rant in no way diminishes my love for all things VD.
Happy Monday!
Labels:
Mondays,
Things I love
Monday, December 19, 2011
Love in Pictures
These speak for themselves.
These were all disturbing but funny until I found this:
And now I don't know how to feel.
Labels:
misc. humor,
Mondays
Monday, December 12, 2011
Blog Bail
When I started this blog it was all about me, which I think is the case with most of us when we begin. It was a way to get my thoughts out there and find my own voice in the midst of all the ones in my head. But once I gathered a few followers (part of me loves that this totally sounds like a cult) it changed into something more. It became about you. Ok, well…you and ME.
Now blogging to me is about support and community. It’s about trying not to pee my pants over your comments and trying to think of just how to phrase something to get you to laugh. It’s about checking in on your blogs and seeing what you’ve been up to or what crazy thought is rattling around in your head today. It’s about friends.
Maybe this is why it sort of pisses me off when someone abandons their blog.
I’m not talking about slowing down, or even taking a break for a while because we all need that. I understand that we only have so much time to juggle between writing and jobs, and family. That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about dropping out for good because I don’t need your support now that I’m published even though you’ve followed me for years and by the way some of you are creepy as shit and who cares what you think anyway, goodbye.
Give me a better reason than you don’t have the time to waste updating a blog even if it’s only once a month because if I can manage to do it with a full time job, writing, three kids and a husband who thinks this is still 1950, then by all that’s holy you can take ten minutes to tell me how you’re doing and what you’re working on.
Maybe you think you don’t owe me anything. And maybe you’re right. But after listening to your fears and insecurities, after taking the time to offer kind words of support and worrying if it will all turn out ok, then pushing your books to my small audience of friends and family, it feels a little like betrayal. And I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way.
So if you’re busy, or overwhelmed…at least pop in every great once in a while (or tweet) and say so. This I understand. But totally bailing on your followers, fans, and friends should not be an option.
P.S.: If you took the time to stop by and read this rant then I seriously doubt it was intended for you. Oh and if my own blogging becomes sporadic over the next few weeks...blame the holidays, shopping, and whoever decided to put me in charge of the office Christmas party. Damn you.
Now blogging to me is about support and community. It’s about trying not to pee my pants over your comments and trying to think of just how to phrase something to get you to laugh. It’s about checking in on your blogs and seeing what you’ve been up to or what crazy thought is rattling around in your head today. It’s about friends.
Maybe this is why it sort of pisses me off when someone abandons their blog.
I’m not talking about slowing down, or even taking a break for a while because we all need that. I understand that we only have so much time to juggle between writing and jobs, and family. That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about dropping out for good because I don’t need your support now that I’m published even though you’ve followed me for years and by the way some of you are creepy as shit and who cares what you think anyway, goodbye.
Give me a better reason than you don’t have the time to waste updating a blog even if it’s only once a month because if I can manage to do it with a full time job, writing, three kids and a husband who thinks this is still 1950, then by all that’s holy you can take ten minutes to tell me how you’re doing and what you’re working on.
Maybe you think you don’t owe me anything. And maybe you’re right. But after listening to your fears and insecurities, after taking the time to offer kind words of support and worrying if it will all turn out ok, then pushing your books to my small audience of friends and family, it feels a little like betrayal. And I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way.
So if you’re busy, or overwhelmed…at least pop in every great once in a while (or tweet) and say so. This I understand. But totally bailing on your followers, fans, and friends should not be an option.
Although...how creepy is this?
Monday, December 5, 2011
Serve and Deliver
Being a lover of words has its side effects. It’s not just about the choice of words but the way in which they are served and delivered that I love. Accents and idioms from all cultures delight me. Sometimes it’s all about the flavor.
This makes me one of those people who can pick up an accent without being consciously aware of it (Madonna?). If I’m around someone for an extended period of time I tend to copy their pronunciations, even their manner of speaking to some degree. But aren’t we all a little prone to this at times?
The problem is this also happens if I immerse myself too deeply in the works of a particular author, especially if that author has a very distinctive voice.
So thank you, J.R. Ward, for making me sound like a 200lb vampire biker for the last week. Ya feel me? True.
This makes me one of those people who can pick up an accent without being consciously aware of it (Madonna?). If I’m around someone for an extended period of time I tend to copy their pronunciations, even their manner of speaking to some degree. But aren’t we all a little prone to this at times?
The problem is this also happens if I immerse myself too deeply in the works of a particular author, especially if that author has a very distinctive voice.
So thank you, J.R. Ward, for making me sound like a 200lb vampire biker for the last week. Ya feel me? True.
It’s going over really well at the office and I’ve noticed my children are behaving much better than usual.
Labels:
Mondays,
Things I love
Monday, November 28, 2011
Closet Cleaning
Sometimes when you start a project like cleaning out your closets for winter, there comes a point about halfway through when you look up and are almost overwhelmed with the enormity of what you have started. The creeping horror that this might take slightly longer than you originally planned settles like a lead weight in the pit of your stomach.
Maybe it’s the huge piles of crap surrounding you or maybe it’s the realization that most of this stuff doesn’t fit and you don’t need it anyway. You reassure yourself that although it might look like a big old mess now…it will soon be neat, organized, and fit together perfectly.
And that’s the point I’m at with my current manuscript. I’ve pulled out everything for closer scrutiny. Now I am deciding what is important and absolutely needed, and what I can donate or maybe save for a garage sale…
Do ya feel me? Where are you at with the current wip?
And this may be the best reason for never cleaning your closet:
Maybe it’s the huge piles of crap surrounding you or maybe it’s the realization that most of this stuff doesn’t fit and you don’t need it anyway. You reassure yourself that although it might look like a big old mess now…it will soon be neat, organized, and fit together perfectly.
And that’s the point I’m at with my current manuscript. I’ve pulled out everything for closer scrutiny. Now I am deciding what is important and absolutely needed, and what I can donate or maybe save for a garage sale…
Do ya feel me? Where are you at with the current wip?
And this may be the best reason for never cleaning your closet:
Labels:
Mondays
Monday, November 14, 2011
A Thin Line
I love Texas because it's 85 degrees, I'm wearing capris and sandals, and Thanksgiving is next week.
I hate Texas because it's 85 degrees, I'm sweating in my capris and sandals, and I have to cook a damn turkey next week.
I loved the last Harry Potter movie because it was closer to the book version than the others and did not disappoint at all.
I hated the last Harry potter movie because it was closer to the book version than the others and I cried again over Snape.
I love J.K. Rowling for giving us Harry and Hogwarts.
I hate J.K. Rowling for giving us Harry and Hogwarts and my inability to think of something equally as awesome.
I love the holidays because it's a chance to give thanks, catch up with family, and repeat all the embarrassing things my husband has done this year.
I hate holidays because I have to think of things to be thankful for, catch hell for not staying in touch with family, and listen to my husband repeat every embarrassing thing I've done this year.
My life is complicated. But at least I'm not as bad as this guy.
Labels:
Mondays,
Things I love
Monday, November 7, 2011
Rock-a-bye Book Baby
Photograph by Kate Reali Photography
The two most important things in my life, being a mother and being a writer actually have more similarities than you might think.
The first few months after you have given birth to your baby or story idea everything is a little messy. They are long periods of sleep filled boredom and the smell of poop becomes alarmingly familiar, as well as the overwhelming stench of vomit. But you love them so you press on, knowing this is only a stage.
But after a little (or a lot of) repetition, it all begins to slide into place.
There will still be difficult periods when they are being stubborn and not listening to you. When the things they say don’t make sense and you begin to wonder if you should just start over…but you’ve put too much into them now(and in the case of a baby this might actually be a little harsh).
Many things will influence them over time, a teacher or an agent’s ideas, a coach or an editor’s criticisms. These things will play a part in shaping who and what your baby/book becomes as they grow. You may think you barely recognize at times but this is an illusion. They never stop being a part of you, their mother/creator.
Eventually the day will come when you have to set them free, the baby and the book. You have to hope you covered the basics, set them on the right path, and believe you added enough beauty in the heart of both that other people will one day love them almost as much as you do.
And that your husband’s influence doesn’t ruin the whole damn thing.
Labels:
Mondays,
Things I love
Monday, October 17, 2011
Find Your Muchness
One of my favorite scenes in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland is when the Mad Hatter informs Alice she’s lost her muchness. There is some debate on what he meant exactly, whether it was her childhood belief and innocence, or the very essence of what made her…Alice.
But I prefer to think he meant her courage, her spirit in the face of adversity. And I realized something this past week while layering in subplots and adding twists to my current wip. Somewhere along the way, my story had lost its muchness. I stopped pushing the boundaries, and I must have been in a good mood about three quarters of the way through because suddenly everyone became very nice. Even my villain.
Not Good.
Then it occurred to me that maybe I have lost some of my own muchness. Have I become too civilized as an adult? Have I lost the courage and spirit to speak up when it’s not considered polite or when I believe in something that might not be popular? Every day I believe in the impossible but am I willing to back that up in my writing?
I vow today to be much muchier. And so does my manuscript. We may not be brandishing a sword but our pen rocks out loud.
How’s that for muchness?
But I prefer to think he meant her courage, her spirit in the face of adversity. And I realized something this past week while layering in subplots and adding twists to my current wip. Somewhere along the way, my story had lost its muchness. I stopped pushing the boundaries, and I must have been in a good mood about three quarters of the way through because suddenly everyone became very nice. Even my villain.
Not Good.
Then it occurred to me that maybe I have lost some of my own muchness. Have I become too civilized as an adult? Have I lost the courage and spirit to speak up when it’s not considered polite or when I believe in something that might not be popular? Every day I believe in the impossible but am I willing to back that up in my writing?
I vow today to be much muchier. And so does my manuscript. We may not be brandishing a sword but our pen rocks out loud.
How’s that for muchness?
Monday, October 10, 2011
Marry Me
Let’s talk commitment. Like the kind you make when you procure an agent and sign a contract to be faithful and honest and share part of the proceeds of your work with them. This will also involve compromises at times and lots of open communication with each other. Why does this sound familiar? Because it’s what you promised your spouse when you married.
I’ve heard one or two writers claim their author/agent relationship is purely professional and they like it that way. But I think it means much more for the majority of published authors. Writing is a personal endeavor, it’s your heart and soul on the page and your agent will become your first reader. How can the relationship maintain its professionalism?
It’s a marriage, plain and simple. Only more like a rogue Mormon sect multiple wives kind of marriage because your agent will have several commitments. I take this sort of promise very seriously. I’ve been married to the same man now longer than I was single and when I sign with an agent it will be after serious deliberation and with the same strong commitment.
I’m not saying divorces don’t happen…they do. Just not in my house.
If you could find an agent through a personal ad mine would read like this:
Story-teller seeks Story-seller
Twisted sense of humor and ability
to shotgun full beer a must.
Long term commitment only, if looking
for one-night stand, call my sister.
Just marry me already!
I’ve heard one or two writers claim their author/agent relationship is purely professional and they like it that way. But I think it means much more for the majority of published authors. Writing is a personal endeavor, it’s your heart and soul on the page and your agent will become your first reader. How can the relationship maintain its professionalism?
It’s a marriage, plain and simple. Only more like a rogue Mormon sect multiple wives kind of marriage because your agent will have several commitments. I take this sort of promise very seriously. I’ve been married to the same man now longer than I was single and when I sign with an agent it will be after serious deliberation and with the same strong commitment.
I’m not saying divorces don’t happen…they do. Just not in my house.
If you could find an agent through a personal ad mine would read like this:
Story-teller seeks Story-seller
Twisted sense of humor and ability
to shotgun full beer a must.
Long term commitment only, if looking
for one-night stand, call my sister.
Just marry me already!
Note: Just to clarify, 'call my sister' is sort of a catch phrase. I am not implying my sister is some sort of slut...at least not anymore. As for the beer slamming, I hardly ever get a chance to drink but I think it would work in my favor if my agent did.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Die, Monday, Die.
I hate the incessant beeping of my alarm clock signaling the week has begun.
I hate the sudden rush of cold water as someone unexpectedly flushes the toilet while I shower.
I hate my tight, scratchy clothes after a weekend of t-shirts and baggy shorts.
I hate that I wasted two good hours watching Black Swan when I could have been sleeping.
I hate that I spent another hour thinking about it afterwards.
I hate Black Swan.
I hate people who drive 5 miles an hour and spend 10 min. making a turn.
I hate cheerful co-workers who sing good morning.
Is that coffee?
I love coffee.
I hate the sudden rush of cold water as someone unexpectedly flushes the toilet while I shower.
I hate my tight, scratchy clothes after a weekend of t-shirts and baggy shorts.
I hate that I wasted two good hours watching Black Swan when I could have been sleeping.
I hate that I spent another hour thinking about it afterwards.
I hate Black Swan.
I hate people who drive 5 miles an hour and spend 10 min. making a turn.
I hate cheerful co-workers who sing good morning.
Is that coffee?
I love coffee.
Labels:
Mondays
Monday, September 26, 2011
Behind My Own Iron Curtain
I realize the need for corporate firewalls but that doesn’t mean I have to like them. So this morning when I arrived at my office early to find a new one installed that blocked several of my favorite sites, I did what any loyal employee would do…I tried to find a way around it.
Flash forward 30 minutes later to an email from our IT manager asking me why I was trying to bypass our settings.
To which I replied, ‘it’s not me, it’s my porn addiction.’ We did manage to compromise on Twitter but only if I agreed to follow him.
I have honed the art of multitasking so having 10 browser windows up at one time is not unusual but no longer. You have now been classified as a distraction. We are blocked from anything labeled ‘Web Communications’ or ‘Arts and Entertainment’ even on our lunch hours.
Adaptability is my middle name (not really, that would be weird.) so this will not stop me but it will force a rearranging of my blogging schedule, maybe pre-schedule more posts, and delay my commenting on blogs until much later in the day.
This is Marsha Sigman...reporting from behind the iron curtain. Support blog freedom everywhere!
Flash forward 30 minutes later to an email from our IT manager asking me why I was trying to bypass our settings.
To which I replied, ‘it’s not me, it’s my porn addiction.’ We did manage to compromise on Twitter but only if I agreed to follow him.
I have honed the art of multitasking so having 10 browser windows up at one time is not unusual but no longer. You have now been classified as a distraction. We are blocked from anything labeled ‘Web Communications’ or ‘Arts and Entertainment’ even on our lunch hours.
Adaptability is my middle name (not really, that would be weird.) so this will not stop me but it will force a rearranging of my blogging schedule, maybe pre-schedule more posts, and delay my commenting on blogs until much later in the day.
This is Marsha Sigman...reporting from behind the iron curtain. Support blog freedom everywhere!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Chicken and Clowns
I fully believe all dreams mean something. Maybe not all of them are bestselling novel ideas (still bitter, Stephenie, still bitter) but our brains never really shut off even when we sleep and I think dreams are a side-effect of our subconscious struggling to work out a backlog of issues.
I dreamed last night a KFC was built next door to our house. I discovered it while taking out the trash and it was so close I could touch it from my kitchen window. They even put some KFC signs on our house too.
I'm pretty sure this means I was seriously jonesing for some crispy fried goodness.
I dreamed last night a KFC was built next door to our house. I discovered it while taking out the trash and it was so close I could touch it from my kitchen window. They even put some KFC signs on our house too.
I'm pretty sure this means I was seriously jonesing for some crispy fried goodness.
At nearly the same time, my husband was dreaming of desperately fighting off a killer clown intent on molesting him...in some way. It wasn't Ronald McDonald so it's safe to assume he wasn't craving a Big Mac. We are just going to chalk that one up to random man craziness and let it go. Mainly because I've given up trying to make any sense of him awake or asleep.
Have you ever had any really disturbing, unexplainable dreams?
Let me analyze them for you.
Labels:
misc. humor,
Mondays
Monday, September 12, 2011
Mondays Suck
You know it's true.
I’ve been in a holding pattern when it comes to my writing lately. One of those rare breaks where the first draft of my latest manuscript is stewing on a flash drive and I’m mulling over possibilities.
Then last night I had an epiphany about my story while watching what could possibly be one of the worst ghost/haunting movies I have ever seen.
We cannot write in a vacuum. Outside stimulation is absolutely necessary in order to jumpstart the creative flow. It’s like when you’re trying really hard to remember something but can’t and then once you stop trying…it comes to you. I clearly saw what my manuscript was missing and got back to work.
Still riding the high from that, I came into work this morning to read this headline:
Andy Whitfield, 39, dies of lymphoma
This is Andy:
And this is Andy:
He was the star of the hit series Spartacus, on Starz. It was on for one heart pounding, incredible season and then filming was delayed when he was diagnosed with cancer. After a few months, he went into remission and began filming again only to discover the cancer had come back. He bowed out of the series which they then delayed another year until this January.
He leaves behind a wife and two small children. Not to mention a score of devastated fans who may not have known him personally but loved him nonetheless.
Thank you, Andy. For making me cry, and cheer, and want to kick ass beside you.
You’ll always be Spartacus to me.
I’ve been in a holding pattern when it comes to my writing lately. One of those rare breaks where the first draft of my latest manuscript is stewing on a flash drive and I’m mulling over possibilities.
Then last night I had an epiphany about my story while watching what could possibly be one of the worst ghost/haunting movies I have ever seen.
We cannot write in a vacuum. Outside stimulation is absolutely necessary in order to jumpstart the creative flow. It’s like when you’re trying really hard to remember something but can’t and then once you stop trying…it comes to you. I clearly saw what my manuscript was missing and got back to work.
Still riding the high from that, I came into work this morning to read this headline:
Andy Whitfield, 39, dies of lymphoma
This is Andy:
And this is Andy:
He was the star of the hit series Spartacus, on Starz. It was on for one heart pounding, incredible season and then filming was delayed when he was diagnosed with cancer. After a few months, he went into remission and began filming again only to discover the cancer had come back. He bowed out of the series which they then delayed another year until this January.
He leaves behind a wife and two small children. Not to mention a score of devastated fans who may not have known him personally but loved him nonetheless.
Thank you, Andy. For making me cry, and cheer, and want to kick ass beside you.
You’ll always be Spartacus to me.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Blurring the Lines
I am many different things.
I am a professional in my day career.
I am a mother to 3 boys, two teenagers and a 3 yr old. In this capacity I serve as cook, maid, psychiatrist, physician, and social secretary.
I am a wife. See extra duties above under mother.
I am a writer.
Most of the time I can keep these facets of my life separated. I am a master at compartmentalizing. Maybe because if I didn’t it would only take a few days before becoming completely overwhelmed by the enormity of tasks facing me each day and I would run screaming through the streets.
But sometimes the lines blur.
Replying to emails from co-workers with an in depth critique of their grammar and plot weaknesses is not going to win me any popularity awards.
And asking my boss if he needs to potty before a meeting is just not acceptable.
Labels:
Mondays
Monday, August 22, 2011
Without Words
Body language is fascinating especially to those of us who rely so much on words to express ourselves. What are we saying without the words? What are we revealing about ourselves? And how can we incorporate it into our current wip? Because that question always lurks in our minds.
But what is even more fascinating is the body language we exhibit when we sleep. Our defenses are down and we are exposed (let’s hope not literally). Here are the results of a study conducted on body language while we are sleeping and what it tells us about our personality.
Sleep confessions anyone???
But what is even more fascinating is the body language we exhibit when we sleep. Our defenses are down and we are exposed (let’s hope not literally). Here are the results of a study conducted on body language while we are sleeping and what it tells us about our personality.
• Fetus position - These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.
• Log position - If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible.
• Yearner position - The side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body. Noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.
• Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. Said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard.
• Freefall position - Those people lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.
• Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention.
I’m a total free faller when I get the bed to myself. But when I have to share it with my husband it’s a whole different language going on. The positions we sleep in as couples tell us about ourselves too, at least according to expert Patti Wood.
The Spoon: If the spooning is comfortable, with no tension in the limbs and seems balanced, it shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship. This Spoon position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners.
Honeymoon Hug: This occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to face each other, seemingly gaze into each others’ eyes, even in sleep. Honeymoon huggers face each other and touch all or some of the front of their bodies. That means they may touch each other with their feet, their legs, their knees, torso and chests. (I’m slightly creeped out by this)
Shingles: aka The Royal Hug- In this position it is typically the man lying on his back facing up. The woman head is cradled in the man chest or shoulder. Symbolically the person on his back in sleep is facing life. A face up position indicates confidence and self-assurance. If the man’s arms are wrapped around the woman, it shows a wonderful protectiveness. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or his elbows are out to the side like a royal cape, he is showing his confidence and that he wants to be in charge, the king of the castle. (Oh, it all makes sense now.)
Zen Style: This occurs when couples are on their sides, faced away from each other so only their rear ends touch. The facing away shows trust and the ability and desire to be independent but the gushier touch shows that they want to stay sexually connected. They are already a confident couple, they just need space.
The Leg Hug: This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position may be assumed after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, it’s a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but since they’re angry they don’t go to the old position. Instead they signal “I will still love you in the morning” by touching the feet or legs.
The Cliffhanger: This position is when both partners are on opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. Know that Cliff hanging shows independence. It says, “I want adventure.” If your partner suddenly goes from close sleep to a cliffhanger, you might want to talk about it. If your position changes from a hug-like sleep to the cliff hanger it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate, or a desire to buy a king size bed.
I have to say we've been in most of those positions except that creepy honeymoon one...you don't want to wake up to morning breath in that position. Let's keep it real.
Sleep confessions anyone???
Labels:
Mondays
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)

























