Tuesday’s Take: Evil is Hot

7/13/10 Vacation Repost-


I am concerned that I have an unnatural fascination for villains. When I watch a movie or a television series, if there isn’t a really interesting antagonist, I’m bored.

Or maybe the plots for movies and television these days all need a hot bad guy to move them along.

Villains are unpredictable and more complex than the heroes. Sometimes they may choose to show mercy or actually begin to care for someone, or …they may just kill you. They are dangerous and this makes them sexy.

Heroes will always choose to do what’s right so there isn’t any surprise there. If for any reason they do screw up, we are completely shocked and unforgiving. It is much easier to turn a villain into a good guy and have him be forgiven and loved, than turn a good guy bad and still have people sympathetic.

Damon Salvatore did for bad boys what a crispy batter did for the hotdog.

Eric Northman juggles being a strip club owner, drug dealer, and vampire sheriff and still finds time to do a little stalking on the side. Hello? Who wouldn’t love that?


And my favorite villain of all time…

Hannibal Lector, who makes cannibalism almost seem reasonable. Who isn’t bored with the same old dishes day after day?

I think my fascination is completely justified. Evil is hot and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

P.S. Don’t tell my mom.

Sound Off

Sometimes it’s hard when the little annoyances pile up enough to really piss you off.  So let’s get them out there.

Inappropriate gifts from relatives to my 3yr old:

1) Your old phone with the rock band app. might have seemed like a good gift at the time but now I’d like to smack you around to the backbeat drumming through my head.

2) Your extra reading glasses. WTH? Yeah, he looks nerdy and cute but you’re not going to be the one taking him to an ophthalmologist with eye strain.

3) Clothes that are 5 sizes too big. Maybe you should keep those glasses. How large do you think my kid is?

If I didn’t perform some sort of quality control his room would look like a toddler version of Sanford and Son.

4) Teens that break shower heads late at night and hide it instead of warning you before it’s your turn to take a shower.

5) Teens that use your kitchen to do ‘the cinnamon challenge’ and then gag over your dishes in the sink. Warning: There may be a video floating around of this with my hand smacking the back of my teenager’s head. I will not apologize. It was deserved...and I had to pause Vampire Diaries.

6) Buying a package of socks at Wal-Mart and noticing later there is a hole in bag and a pair is missing. Damn you freaky Wal-Mart peeps! I shouldn’t even be surprised.

7) Peeps who don’t notice when the stoplight turns green at an intersection. 2 minutes is not enough time to balance your checkbook!

8) My day job office is located on a side street off a major road. I must cross several lanes of traffic to make the turn. There is no light, there is no turn lane. Watching cars barreling toward me in my rear view mirror is like a game of Russian roulette. Maybe they’ll see me…maybe they won’t. It does give my caffeine breakfast a kick in the ass though.

Whew…I feel better. How about you? Sound off in the comments.

Update: Cinnamon challenge is a dare game where you must eat a tablespoon without vomiting. IMPOSSIBLE.  Been around for at least 10 yrs.  Don't you peeps watch Tosh.O????

The Long and Short of it.

There is always talk of titles when it comes to our stories.  You can find some of the best discussions/opinions hanging out over at YA Confidential.  Hard to compete with their level of funny and smart but I'll throw in my two cents.  The most common questions are always how do we come up with titles? Is it better to have a long one or a short one?  Should we really spend a lot of effort when the publisher has the final word on such things anyway?

I don't have a problem with titles.  They come to me along with the story idea.  But I also would be willing to change one if I heard something better,  Usually I like them short and to the point.  As in one word.  Maybe two.  Until now. 

Because I totally hate the short title of my current wip. 

It feels too plain, too generic.  So I took some of the advice I found over at YAC and let me just say...it doesn't matter what you write, this is good advice for all.  I tried free word association as it applied to my manuscript.  Since I have almost OD'ed on books written in my genre lately I also decided to study the choices of others who have written similar stories.

Now I may go with a longer title.  You could say I'm trying it on for size.  Also the initials of said possible new title are S.O.B.S. which is like an added bonus and sort of fits my story too.  Yes, I am a geek.  You're only just now noticing?  Please.

So I won't ask if you have problems coming up with titles.  I'll just ask whether or not you stick with the first one you come up with?

Come on, you can tell me...

Planking Not Plankton

Writers are natural observers, or we should be if we want to write realistic stories.  Keeping up with the latest trends is a must, depending on what your genre is but especially if you write YA.  I know having teens at home and writing about them usually keeps me in the Fad Loop.  I love them all, the crazier the better.  Recently I was told of a new one called Planking.

Planking or the lying down game is an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the internet is an integral part of the game.

This is not to be confused with Plankton, the villain from Spongebob Squarepants.

Oh, Plankton, always trying to steal a krabby pattie.

The term 'planking' originated in Australia and has taken over there and in New Zealand and now halfway around the world in America.  Just see for yourself.

Street Planking W/Pets

Extreme Planking

And now...Baby Planking

Planking will probably be gone before we manage to include it in a story but still...it may be the most hilarious fad yet, next to wearing your pants belted around your thighs.

'Cause that's never getting old.

To Spin a Spell

I've lived a thousand lives and been on countless adventures.  I have shopped in an alley filled with magical wares and wandered the halls of a school founded for wizards.  I have witnessed my friends cut down by evil. 

I have sipped tea with a mad hatter and defeated a red queen.  I have fought to regain a throne that by all rights belongs to my bloodline.  I have wept at the feet of kings and granted mercy to those who wept at mine.

I have been best friends with a werewolf and dated the undead.  I have solved hundreds of mysteries, and brought justice to the deserving and punishment to the wicked. 

I have witnessed vampires become citizens and executed those who turned rogue.  I have crossed many miles and multiple worlds in search of a dark tower, all knew my name and shuddered at my passing.  I have forged friendships of the deepest kind and then sacrificed them along the way. 

I have stood on the shores of alien worlds and felt no longing for home.

I've been a hero and a villain...often at the same time.  I have loved deeply and felt love in return, I have been lost and found.  I have killed for all the right reasons and a few wrong ones.  I have died and been reborn.

And I never left my couch.

This is why I write.

Creep Me Out…Please?

Today Jennifer Hillier’s debut novel Creep drops on an unsuspecting public like a bomb of pure suspenseful awesomeness. From the very beginning it grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go until the last page is turned. There’s a blurb on the back cover by Jeffery Deaver that suggests you call in sick…because you aren’t going anywhere until you’re finished. I couldn’t agree more.

The short skinny: Psychology professor has a hot cougar affair with her fine ass teaching assistant/student, but decides to end it when she makes the decision to get engaged to her kind, caring boyfriend. Only fine ass student doesn’t take it so well. Being a few nuts shy of a sundae, he decides if he can’t have her…then no one can.

The core elements of a great story are the same regardless of genre which are perfect pace, descriptions that leap off the page, and relatable characters. Creep has all three. So no matter what you write or even if don’t write at all, this book is a must read.

I consider myself lucky to have Jennifer as a friend and not just because now I know she daydreams about murder. She’s funny, smart, and incredibly humble about her success. But none of that makes a difference when it comes to book recommendations. I don’t make them very often. If I read something I don’t particularly like then I take my mother’s advice and keep my mouth shut. But when I read something this good I have to pass it on.

You should definitely run, don’t Creep, to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy NOW.

Tuesday Trivia

The majority of us share space with other people, whether it’s our husband, wife, kids, or very close canine/feline friends. If we’re lucky they share our literary interests or at least leave us the hell alone once in a while so we can get work done. It’s never easy to live with someone even if you love that person. It takes work, patience, and a healthy respect for each other, and that’s true if you’re just friends rooming together. But if you throw the added complications of creative personalities into the mix, well…you never know what could happen.

You may just end up being hugely famous.

Some of these peeps roomed together back in the day and survived it, although I have no idea how.

Marilyn Monroe/Shelley Winters

That was one wicked combination.


Michael Douglas/Danny De Vito

Ahhhh...Still pretty close I’d say.


Robin Williams/Christopher Reeve

Stayed friends until the end.


John Cusack/Jeremy Piven

They’ve had their spats but come on, it was the 80’s. They have to make up.


Al Gore/Tommy Lee Jones

Oh yeah. Double trouble at Harvard no less, and there’s a rumor John Lithgow might have been part of the group.

Just to show you Tommy Lee was totally hot.


Jonah Hill/Justin Long

These guys were born to be famous, and they have like a total bromance happening.


Robert Downey Jr./Kiefer Sutherland

Maybe my favorite pairing right here, I still love them both.

And there's some Tuesday Trivia for ya.  I have to go dig out my VCR and VHS tapes for an 80's video marathon.

Tuesday Taunts

Taylor Swift…

meet Kimberly Perry, lead singer of The Band Perry.

She can match your curly blond cuteness, your endearing innocence, and the insanely high notes you can still hit because I suspect neither of you has fully undergone puberty.

BUT…that’s not all.

She has two brothers who are strangely attractive in weird Indie/Goth sort of way. Maybe someone should tell them they’re singing county music? They look like they could kick the crap out of you just for fun.

Watch your back, Taylor. The challenge is thrown and you’re already down by one (or two). You need another boyfriend quick so you have some lyrics for that new album.



 
Disclaimer: This is not my typical music but I have to admit...I sort of like it.  And I get to taunt Taylor Swift so it's like a win, win. 

Tell It Tuesday

There are many bloggers who do truth posts on Tuesdays. I’m not one of them. But it is catchy and a lot of peeps seem to like it. I guess my problem is I really don’t have that many interesting truths. I have a lot of boring ones…and some that are completely inappropriate…and some that are inappropriate AND boring.

But I will tell you these truths about me:

I never lie about how long I’ve been married. Partly because I’m proud of the fact I’ve been married so long in a society that divorces as easily as changing their shirt.

I almost always lie about my age. Mainly because I feel it is every woman’s right to do so after 30 (I’m not that far past it, honestly) and partly because…it’s funny. I added years when I was younger to make myself older so it’s only fair I subtract a few now.

But I face a growing conflict between the two. As the years I’ve been married increase and my age decreases…I’m forced into a corner regarding the age I married. There are really only three categories to choose from:

Responsible Adult
Slutty Teenager
Only in Kentucky

If I stay the course…I will fall into the last category within the next five years. This is the truth I live with.


So what do you have to tell?

G.O.T.

Game of Thrones...
It must be whispered in awed, hushed tones to give it the respect it deserves.

From the brilliant mind of George R.R. Martin flows an epic fantasy of such bad ass awesomeness even I am rendered speechless for an hour each week.  Usually the movie/series version is disappointing when compared to the novel it is based on but in this case...it's hard to feel let down at all.  If you haven't read the book yet you may want to wait.  Knowing who is going to die kind of ruins the surprise.  But if you have (and holy hell isn't it awesome?) then you will still enjoy the show.

Being on a cable network allows it to be told the way it should be.  Bloody, incestous, evil, and good are aspects all portrayed with stunning visuals and such suberb acting you can't imagine these people being anyone else.  Although you may recognize Boromir from LOTR:

Only he is now and always will be Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell.

Or this chick who was King Leonidas' wife in 300:

Manipulative Queen Cersei who is married to this guy:

King Robert Baratheon (also the dude from a Knight's Tale) but she is getting it on with this guy:

Jaime Lannister.  And who can blame her?  Only...ewww it's her twin brother.  Yeah.

Confused?  Surprisingly I'm not.  Because a large cast of characters and multiple POV's are hard but when done right you love all of them and their stories combine to create a richer whole.  Only a handful of people can pull off an epic of this magnitude and Martin is one of them.

Did I mention this guy?:

Because he may actually be the best actor on the show and he's a dwarf (is that PC?).  I'm sure dramatic acting roles for a person of his stature are not easy to find but I cannot imagine another actor playing this part any better.

If you need more clarification this may help:

Hot guys, evil bitches, evil hot guy bitches.  This show has it all.

The Game has begun.  Are you in or out?

Work Or Write?

Having a three day weekend always makes me question whether or not I would quit my day job when my writing career takes off. It would give me more time to write but that might not necessarily be a good thing.

I’m a deadline sort of person. If given too much time I procrastinate and make up excuses not to get started (Stephen King marathons on cable). But when I know a deadline is approaching, when the pressure is on, I excel. It’s when I do my best work, whether it’s my day job or writing.

Also, I get a lot of good story ideas from my crazy co-workers. Not sure I could give that up, at least not completely.  It's like having a secret identity.  And you know I like to think of myself as a super-hero.

What about you? Would you devote all your time to writing?

I Am Old...but so are you.

I didn't think so at first either but then I found this list:

You are old if...

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
You're not grouchy; you just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.
The phone rings and you hope it's not for you.
The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.
You start singing along with the elevator music.
You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
8 AM is your idea of "sleeping in".
You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television. 


When the hell did this happen? 

Tell It Tuesday

Two major things happened to me yesterday.

1) I had an epiphany about what I am now calling my b-nip (best-selling novel in progress). I am throwing out the second half of my outline and changing it completely, and that includes the ending. I didn’t like the way it was headed and I had way too many loose ends that was going to take a lot to wrap up in a believable way. Now I love it and I only had to turn one person evil, kill a couple of characters, and maim a few others. It is perfect.

2) While engrossed in a new episode of House, I noticed out of the corner of my eye our two year old vigorously picking his nose. Before I could stop him or call out a warning, he wiped his new found treasure on my husband, jumped back and then screamed ‘TaDa’ in a triumphant voice.

I am now positive he is a genius.


Anything new or life changing happen to you lately? Come on…tell it!

I’ve Been GaGa’d

Over the weekend I watched Lady GaGa’s Monster Ball concert at Madison Square Garden (courtesy of HBO). I honestly could not look away and I don’t even like her music. No matter what your feelings are for her…she is an entertainer. You have to give her that.

It was nice of her to give a shout out to that old TV show The Flying Nun.

I had nightmares about this costume later that night.

Maybe I watched this concert for the same reasons I flip to the Spanish channel every once in a while when I’m bored. It’s fascinating and I have the feeling if I watch it long enough I will somehow be able to understand it.

But I don’t speak GaGa…or Spanish.
Except for what I’ve learned on Dora the Explorer which, let’s face it, is a poor man’s Rosetta Stone.

I believe there is a difference between an artist and an entertainer. Just like there are quite a few people who believe there is a huge difference between being a good writer or a great storyteller.

Hard work and dedication creates good writers in my opinion but I think you may have to be 'Born This Way' to be a great storyteller.

You didn't think I could work that in, did you?
Do you believe there is a difference? And if so which one would you rather people thought of you?

You’re So Deep

How do you add depth to your characters? We all hear the kiss of death for a lot of agents are flat, one dimensional characters. They must be deep, relatable, and appeal to the majority of our audience.

If your main character has super powers, it might be hard for the average person to relate so my advice would be to add a flaw. In fact, if you want your characters to be realistic then they ALL need a flaw. It doesn’t have to be major…they don’t need to be serial killers (although it totally works for the series ‘Dexter’). Maybe they never clean their room or they dig in the laundry basket for something that doesn’t smell too badly to wear, or something traumatic has happened to them and you drop hints of their tortured past. Whatever you decide, make us like them despite it and maybe even because of it.

Remember to show don’t tell, because adding depth is not telling someone what makes a person tick, it’s showing them. Inner dialogue, pattern of speech, mannerisms, and how they react in situations are all a part of this. Creating a character outline does help to get to know your character better and this in turn helps impart that in your story.

In researching this topic I came across a comment which said if you want to add depth to your characters then make them either crippled or a lesbian.


I’ll leave that up to you.

Does anyone have advice to add? I am all ears.

The Real World

As writers we spend a lot of time with characters of our own making. But I have to say that without input from the real world and my day job…ideas would not flow as easily to populate those fictional worlds in my head.

In this economy, the competition for jobs is fierce and any advertisement for an open position is bound to bring out the crazies. I have done a post on this subject before but I bring you new and true interview stories. My sources will remain anonymous.

An applicant said she was a "people person", not a "numbers person", in her interview for an accounting position.
Note: I swear this wasn’t me. The only thing I said was I hated math.

Prospect said, "Seven handicapped parking spaces next to the front door? What, are you having a wheelchair convention or something?"

One applicant sang all the responses to the interview questions.

Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.

Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.

Candidate dozed off during interview.


Strange things said during interview process:

"Sometimes I feel like smashing things."
"My legs are really hairy."
"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
"If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival."
"I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me."
"I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movements."
"At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking."


Whoever said truth was stranger than fiction wasn’t lying.

Novelty Names

When I was a kid and read a book with a difficult character name…I would inevitably break it down, sound it out and try to decipher the correct pronunciation before continuing. Only to find out later, I was entirely wrong.

Now I don’t have the patience for it. My husband and I have an unspoken agreement that anyone’s name we cannot pronounce or we forget are automatically called Bob until such a time as it becomes important enough to actually learn it (such as marrying into the family, etc).

I use the same method when I read a novel. I’m all for the unusual and unique but please consider the reader before naming your main character a 14 letter mashup of the Latin phrase ‘to defeat evil with good’. It’s irritating and you will lose the reader before he’s had a chance to be captured by your awesome story.

As a side note, try not to have all your character names begin with the same letter either. Take it from me…until you make a list you might never realize your secret obsession with the letter R, for example.

Not that I would know.

Teasing Telemarketers

Since the majority of the population have tossed their landlines and gone pure cellular, the telemarketing calls are less but sometimes they still manage to find you. Ever comparison shopped online for new cars or insurance? It’s just one of the ways your cell number is passed around.

If you’re like me and carefully guard your number, you don’t screen calls before picking up. Then you’re stuck listening to someone try to hard sell you on a product you’ve never heard of. Here are a few ways to deal with them and leave a lasting impression.

This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ company" You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

Cry out in surprise, "Judy, IS that you? Oh my God, Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

If MCI or AT&T calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply in as sinister a voice as you can. "I don't have any friends. Would you be my friend?"

Tell the telemarketer you are "grounded" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.


It might not stop them from calling but hey…at least you can enjoy it when they do.

Sand Me Down

Rejection is like sandpaper for the soul. It polishes and sloughs off needless pride like so much dead skin. If everything you reached for were easy, just given to you, then how would you ever truly appreciate it?

This doesn’t apply to only rejection but adversity of any kind. It makes you stronger if you let it. My first manuscript was horrible, really cringe worthy bad. But I am a better, stronger writer now than I ever have been and if I had been handed publication on a platter, or decided to do it myself, I wouldn’t be.

I’ve also been married a long time…to the same person. By long time I mean I have now been married longer than I was single (the hoops I will jump through to not admit my age are endless). We have had hard times and some spectacular fights (totally his fault, why can’t he just do what I say?) but if every year had been easy, our marriage would not be as strong. We both believe that. You have to dig deep, set your heels, and be prepared to fight for what you want.

Victory will be all the sweeter for it.

I’m an Addict

Hello, my name is Marsha and I’m a…book junkie. An addict with a plethora of dealers who peddle my drug of choice, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, even you Half Price Books.

Not to mention my blog friends (total pushers).

“Hey, Hey!” they call. “I got something new for ya…”

Who am I to resist? This is what I am jonesin’ for right now:

Possession by Elana Johnson
Creep by Jennifer Hillier
Bad Taste in Boys by Carrie Harris
City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare
Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

It’s hopeless…I will never be cured with this kind of lineup.

Am I missing anything? What are you waiting on to come out?


And completely off the subject because let's face it I have ADD...check out Donald Trump:
 

You're Fired.