Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Absence of Hope

I hesitate to blog about this because I do not want to be disrespectful in any way but I feel its something that needs to be shared.

One of my neighbors killed herself a few days ago and our neighborhood is in a state of shock. We have lived beside each other for almost seventeen years. I am ashamed to say that I did not know her very well. We spoke when we ran into each other which wasn't often. She had a dry sense of humor that I loved and was always willing to lend a helping hand if you needed anything. She seemed so tough and capable.

What drives a person to make such an irreversible decision to end themselves? I know that everyone experiences bad times and some much more than others. I cannot imagine the agony of the loss of a child that my mother has lived through or the devastation of losing all that you own in a natural disaster or even the crushing loneliness someone must feel at times when they have no family to lean on. I can only guess at how dark and terrible the world must seem in the absence of all hope.

I look around me and I am thankful to the bottom of my soul for my family and friends.
You give me hope that shines in the darkest places.


  1. Marsha,

    That is truly very sad. And it's always very sad.

    I've had friends who were suicidal and it was extremely scary. Even some people who are surrounded by love can go through some seriously dark times. It took a lot of prayer for these people to pull through. One friend of mine even got checked into a psych ward for the suicidal thoughts. That friend is much better.

    Sometimes it's a cry for help, sometimes it's a cry for attention. Like I said...even people who are surrounded by a lot of love can go through these thoughts.

    Please don't blame yourself or feel ashamed. You probably gave her friendship and kind words. There probably wasn't much YOU could've done. She probably needed professional help. She might've been even hiding her issues from those closest to her. You just never know.

    If you're a praying sort, I recommend prayers for her and her family. I'm really sorry this happened to someone you knew and liked.

    God bless her and her family and your neighborhood.

  2. Marsha,

    It's hard to ever understand anyone without knowing there entire story. Be a support to those who are left. They need all the love and kindness everyone can give them at this time. It's hard enough to loose a family member, but even harder due to the reason why it happened.
    Be thankful, be loving, and hug your family. Difficult times are what make us look at the blessings we all have. Without them we wouldn't be as humble...

  3. Thanks Bethany and J.J., it's hard not to feel like we should have seen something. This person had family and close friends and I know its hardest on them. We are being supportive and trying to do whatever we can to help. I think all of us are hugging the people we love just a little bit tighter right now.


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.