Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Freak Magnet

I am. I admit it. If there is a freak within a 20 mile radius...they will find me. I must give off a tolerant vibe. If I'm in the grocery store and someone has had too much to drink, they find me.

If I am at the gas station and someone needs to borrow money...I am the first person they ask.

If one of the mothers on the soccer team decides to confess she is a stripper at night...I am the first one told.

If I choose a doctor for my family...he will inevitably turn out to be Dr. Kevorkian.

If I choose a lawyer for any miscellaneous task, he will at some point have a nervous breakdown and leave me an incoherent screaming voicemail at 10:00 at night for no apparent reason at all.

I practice my mean, don't mess with me face in the mirror but it doesn't seem to work. Of course, I also meet a multitude of wonderful people too so I can't always complain...but sometimes it doesn't seem fair.

Is it only me?


  1. No, I feel the exact same way.

    Best Example:
    The man at the grocery store who was about 30 years older than me who wanted to follow me around asking for my hand in marriage.

  2. Uh... I hope this post has nothing to do with the fact that I admitted to you of my secret love for Ghost Whisperer yesterday. (slinks away red faced and ashamed...) :)

  3. Regina: Great example! What can you do in that situation except say yes?

    Valerie:LOL, crazy talk...'shamed of the Ghost Whisperer. Be proud! Besides your like the only other one besides me who loves it and we have to stick together.haha

  4. I'm an asshole magnet.... need I say more?

    Great post!

  5. LOL. Nah...I remember being in a chatroom, and there was a person in there and everyone was talking about tying the person to a chair to convert them to a particular belief. The person in question said: "I might like that." and I, with my foot inserted firmly in my mouth said, "What? Are you a masochist or something?" The person said, "Yes, I am a masochist."

    Go figure I'd be the one to uncover that. LOL

  6. Regina:

    Poor person was just taken with your massive talent of pushing a grocery cart.

  7. Concord Carpenter: Asshole/Freak, its an interchangable

    Bethany: I have a feeling you are exactly like me in this. It could be dangerous for us to hang out together, there is no telling what could happen.ha

  8. LOL. It's the law of gravitational feakanomics. The more you mind them the more you draw in Beware this creates a powerful pull!!!

  9. No, it's not only you. I get it too, but I believe I get it because I look like the path of least resistance.

  10. T. and Sierra, ya'll are hysterical. You make me feel so much better!


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.