Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Freak Magnet

I am. I admit it. If there is a freak within a 20 mile radius...they will find me. I must give off a tolerant vibe. If I'm in the grocery store and someone has had too much to drink, they find me.

If I am at the gas station and someone needs to borrow money...I am the first person they ask.

If one of the mothers on the soccer team decides to confess she is a stripper at night...I am the first one told.

If I choose a doctor for my family...he will inevitably turn out to be Dr. Kevorkian.

If I choose a lawyer for any miscellaneous task, he will at some point have a nervous breakdown and leave me an incoherent screaming voicemail at 10:00 at night for no apparent reason at all.

I practice my mean, don't mess with me face in the mirror but it doesn't seem to work. Of course, I also meet a multitude of wonderful people too so I can't always complain...but sometimes it doesn't seem fair.

Is it only me?

10 comments:

  1. No, I feel the exact same way.

    Best Example:
    The man at the grocery store who was about 30 years older than me who wanted to follow me around asking for my hand in marriage.

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  2. Uh... I hope this post has nothing to do with the fact that I admitted to you of my secret love for Ghost Whisperer yesterday. (slinks away red faced and ashamed...) :)

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  3. Regina: Great example! What can you do in that situation except say yes?

    Valerie:LOL, crazy talk...'shamed of the Ghost Whisperer. Be proud! Besides your like the only other one besides me who loves it and we have to stick together.haha

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  4. I'm an asshole magnet.... need I say more?

    Great post!

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  5. LOL. Nah...I remember being in a chatroom, and there was a person in there and everyone was talking about tying the person to a chair to convert them to a particular belief. The person in question said: "I might like that." and I, with my foot inserted firmly in my mouth said, "What? Are you a masochist or something?" The person said, "Yes, I am a masochist."

    Go figure I'd be the one to uncover that. LOL

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  6. Regina:

    Poor person was just taken with your massive talent of pushing a grocery cart.

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  7. Concord Carpenter: Asshole/Freak, its an interchangable term.lol

    Bethany: I have a feeling you are exactly like me in this. It could be dangerous for us to hang out together, there is no telling what could happen.ha

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  8. LOL. It's the law of gravitational feakanomics. The more you mind them the more you draw in Beware this creates a powerful pull!!!

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  9. No, it's not only you. I get it too, but I believe I get it because I look like the path of least resistance.

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  10. T. and Sierra, ya'll are hysterical. You make me feel so much better!

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It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.