Thursday, December 10, 2009

Are We Liars?

I suppose in the broadest sense of the word, we are liars. Unless you are writing non-fiction, you are creating something that is not true. Therefore, it must be a lie. I believe it actually falls in that gray shaded area that most issues do.

I do not lie. Even when I was a child, I hated to lie and I hated being lied to. I have believed my entire life that words should not be taken lightly. With that said, I love telling stories and I do have a gift for exaggeration. When I retold an adventure, if it needed a little ummphh, I obliged. Is this lying? Or a gift for storytelling?

As an adult, I rediscovered this love when my young stepson questioned me about what exactly was a fart?
In an effort to put an end to the conversation before it could begin, I told him that I would not know because that is not something that I did. I was being polite but he took it literally. He kept questioning why I did not fart. I found myself explaining in great detail that while little girls and boys fart often when they are young, as they advance through puberty, girls are unable to fart. They become ladies. Men make up for it by farting a lot more.

He accepted this and I am sure spread the word among his friends. He is grown now and I suspect still believes every word. I have no regrets.

My husband's lying is limited to accidents, bloody wounds flowing with ketchup, and me. He has an obsession with convincing everyone that whatever I am saying is a lie.
However, he never does this when I am actually lying (exaggerating). He only feels the need to do this when I am telling the truth.

When we decided to have a child, my husband and I promised each other we would always be truthful with him. Of course Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were exceptions to this promise. Our resolve has weakened over the years.

When my son told me in Kindergarten that it was his teacher's birthday and she was 23 years old, my jealous vanity prompted me to say "Really? That is so nice, I am 23 too". I stayed 23 years old for the next five years without question until he became much better at math.

My son is older now, and questions everything we say with suspicion. I have sworn to be truthful about the changes he will go through to make his transition into adulthood easier.

My husband has only increased his evil ways over time. When explaining to my son about body hair and where it eventually ends up, my husband delighted in convincing him that this was not true.
My son believed for quite some time that men did not grow body hair at all. I was gross and perverted for making up such a disgusting story to scare him with. Time has now proven who the liar was.

So whether we are liars at heart or just great storytellers, I think the lesson here is...keep it to the stories. It's healthier that way.
My husband can testify that sleeping on the couch for any length of time...isn't good on the back.


  1. I'm still laughing. Good story about storytelling.

  2. John Green has a great item on his blog about why he became a writer. He said he took a test on what profession you should be and he was good at two things -- telling lies and sitting! Two skills any writer needs!

  3. lol @ Daisy!

    Great story Marsha! We have a lot in common. I have a need for the truth too. And I avoid lies, even where it would be easier to just tell them. But stories... Stories are magic!

  4. I'm a pretty dang honest person, myself, but I can't resist writing fiction. I guess because I always loved fairy-tales and wished I could be a fairy-tale now I get to be one...vicariously, through my stories. I also [through my stories] get to be a witch, and a shapeshifter of sorts. Aren't I one lucky writer?? LOL

    Marsha well you know women really run things. What do you think men's ties are for? They're leashes! *GRINS* :-D

  5. Hopefully I'll bring you some more readers.
    I promoted your blog on my post for today. I left you 2 awards.

  6. Thanks to all of you! I'm really glad you like my functioning dysfunctional family

    Thanks to you for the awards, Lee!


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.