Tuesday, February 8, 2011

If I Were Stephenie Meyer...

If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would make everyone call me Princess Stephenie while wearing a tiara and carrying a pink wand wherever I went. This would reinforce the theory held by some that I have magical powers which enabled me to write four novels that became wildly popular on a global scale even though they completely sucked. Not counting that awesome fifth sci-fi job that I didn’t get nearly enough credit for.

If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would only wear clothes that sparkled. There is nothing like a little self promotion to keep the fan flames burning…and sparkly clothes are just cool.
If you don't believe me, ask these guys:

If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would remind people as often as possible that while I did write the Twilight novels, I did not write the screenplays for the movies. Or participate in the casting.

Repeat: Did not cast/Not my fault.

And finally if I were Stephenie Meyer, I would pay it forward. Perhaps by making a little known struggling writer my new BFF…

Now that's funny.


  1. LOL. I love the drawing! It really made the post! :)

  2. Brilliant. As usual.

    Being BFFs with Steph Meyer would not be a bad thing at all.

  3. So cute! I have seen Meg Cabot wearing tiaras for booksignings. That's kinda close!

  4. It's funny how loving and hating Stephanie Meyer have the same effect when you see her name pop up on your subscription page: "Oh boy, I've GOT to read this!" I confess I did not know she had a sci-fi project and now have slightly more respect for her.

    I laughed for like five minutes at "did not cast/not my fault."

  5. I think it's gonna happen. The odds have to be at least, you know, 50/50.


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.