Tuesday, February 8, 2011

If I Were Stephenie Meyer...

If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would make everyone call me Princess Stephenie while wearing a tiara and carrying a pink wand wherever I went. This would reinforce the theory held by some that I have magical powers which enabled me to write four novels that became wildly popular on a global scale even though they completely sucked. Not counting that awesome fifth sci-fi job that I didn’t get nearly enough credit for.


If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would only wear clothes that sparkled. There is nothing like a little self promotion to keep the fan flames burning…and sparkly clothes are just cool.
If you don't believe me, ask these guys:


If I were Stephenie Meyer, I would remind people as often as possible that while I did write the Twilight novels, I did not write the screenplays for the movies. Or participate in the casting.

Repeat: Did not cast/Not my fault.

And finally if I were Stephenie Meyer, I would pay it forward. Perhaps by making a little known struggling writer my new BFF…


Now that's funny.

6 comments:

  1. LOL. I love the drawing! It really made the post! :)

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  2. Brilliant. As usual.

    Being BFFs with Steph Meyer would not be a bad thing at all.

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  3. So cute! I have seen Meg Cabot wearing tiaras for booksignings. That's kinda close!

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  4. It's funny how loving and hating Stephanie Meyer have the same effect when you see her name pop up on your subscription page: "Oh boy, I've GOT to read this!" I confess I did not know she had a sci-fi project and now have slightly more respect for her.

    I laughed for like five minutes at "did not cast/not my fault."

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  5. I think it's gonna happen. The odds have to be at least, you know, 50/50.

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It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.