Monday, December 12, 2011

Blog Bail

When I started this blog it was all about me, which I think is the case with most of us when we begin. It was a way to get my thoughts out there and find my own voice in the midst of all the ones in my head. But once I gathered a few followers (part of me loves that this totally sounds like a cult) it changed into something more. It became about you. Ok, well…you and ME.

Now blogging to me is about support and community. It’s about trying not to pee my pants over your comments and trying to think of just how to phrase something to get you to laugh. It’s about checking in on your blogs and seeing what you’ve been up to or what crazy thought is rattling around in your head today. It’s about friends.

Maybe this is why it sort of pisses me off when someone abandons their blog.

I’m not talking about slowing down, or even taking a break for a while because we all need that. I understand that we only have so much time to juggle between writing and jobs, and family. That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about dropping out for good because I don’t need your support now that I’m published even though you’ve followed me for years and by the way some of you are creepy as shit and who cares what you think anyway, goodbye.

Give me a better reason than you don’t have the time to waste updating a blog even if it’s only once a month because if I can manage to do it with a full time job, writing, three kids and a husband who thinks this is still 1950, then by all that’s holy you can take ten minutes to tell me how you’re doing and what you’re working on.

Maybe you think you don’t owe me anything. And maybe you’re right. But after listening to your fears and insecurities, after taking the time to offer kind words of support and worrying if it will all turn out ok, then pushing your books to my small audience of friends and family, it feels a little like betrayal. And I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way.

So if you’re busy, or overwhelmed…at least pop in every great once in a while (or tweet) and say so. This I understand. But totally bailing on your followers, fans, and friends should not be an option. creepy is this?

P.S.: If you took the time to stop by and read this rant then I seriously doubt it was intended for you.  Oh and if my own blogging becomes sporadic over the next few weeks...blame the holidays, shopping, and whoever decided to put me in charge of the office Christmas party.  Damn you.


  1. I was thinking about this the other day. I was going through the list of blogs I follow and it struck me how many of them have been silent for several months. It was like going through an attic and seeing all these discarded old toys that no one was ever going to play with again.

    I understand the impulse to quit, though. A lot of writers are introverts, and I think that the social side to networking can sometimes feel a little overwhelming. Either that or they got tired of my snarky comments. That's probably closer to the truth (because it's all about ME). :PP

  2. I can totally understand the frustration here. It's such a community, but honestly I can't imagine even WANTING to leave it. I mean, we're awesome, right? We're awesome.

  3. I've noticed blogs whose authors just disappeared as well. I can see closing down a blog if there's some warning or a slow winding down, but it is frustrating when blogging's just abandoned.

    And yeah, that is a creepy pic!

  4. Can I tell you how glad I am that this post was not about how you are bailing on your blog? Thanks for being fabulous.

  5. MARSHA!!!! You scared the pickles out of me! I came here ready to cuss and scream and tell you that you were not allowed to quit. And failing that cry til I blubbered. You are not allowed to do that again.


    That said, I do have a semi-abandoned blog. My first blog was on life in Japan. But after being here for 3 years, it doesn't often feel new anymore. I leave it up because I think it's a resource. There isn't much English info on living in small town Japan. And it only has 6 followers. Hopefully they don't feel betrayed :(

  6. I totally understand what you're saying. I always feel let down after investing time and energy following and supporting a fellow writer on their journey, only to have him/her disappear after the agency contract or the book deal. Mainly because I'm dying to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, and it feels like I'm being left out of the rest of the journey.

    I vowed I wouldn't one be one of those bloggers. I plan to keep blogging until I run out of things to say, although admittedly I can't do it 5 times a week like I did this time last year. But I genuinely like the blogging community. I need you guys. You guys keep me sane... which, trust me, is no easy feat. :)

  7. First, what Claire said. When I saw the title I thought, oh, crap - I just got here!

    But yeah, I see everyone's blogs as like this cool little neighborhood we've created for ourselves, and if someone takes off, then yeah, that can hurt. Especially if you helped them raise their baby and they no longer even send a Christmas card.

    But if they're doing it to focus on their first novel, that's cool. It's like they're going off to the mountains in search of treasure - we know they'll be back and have more to share.

  8. That picture is terrifying!

    What's weird about it is that we know eachother...but we don't. If you stop writing your blog I don't know if it's because you just got fed up with the entire thing, or you got hit by a bus. And I'll feel bad, because a part of me will hope it will be the bus...

    And LOL @ MC: "especially if you helped them raise their baby."

  9. First of all, I would never leave you guys willingly so if for any reason I would probably be because I WAS hit by a bus!

    Thanks for the comments and I totally love all of you, in a non stalkerish way. Ok, some of you in a non stalkerish way...

    Jennifer, you are an inspiration to all of us and exactly the sort of author I want to be. (Only not in Canada, cause that's way too

  10. I definitely understand this, though I haven't had anyone I've really known do this kind of thing. I'm a firm believer in fans and friends--if you have them, then you're set. if you cut one of them off, you're setting yourself up to fail.

  11. Sometimes, the offender may lose his or her internet provider. I understand they tend to turn limit access when they are not paid in a timely manner, the nerve.

    Sometimes, the offender may lose his or her mind.

    Sometimes, the offender may simply be dry on ideas for a while.

    Sometimes, especially around the holidays, depression tends to sink in and they stay in bed for a few months.

    But never, ever, would anyone dare to disrespect their online friends, especially the kind ones. Impossible. They probably are working shit out. Give 'em a pass.

    Of course, I'm not referring to anyone in particular. Sometimes, they're just being retarded!


It helps to know I'm not just talking to myself.